Tuesday, October 6, 2015

I can call myself crazy....you not so much.

  I have issuses. Many many issues. I suffer from depression as well as anxiety. I have panic attacks and I can freak out about small things when logically I know I should not. 

  I at times even lump it up as "I am crazy" even when I know that I am not really crazy per say it is just a way to say that I have issues. 

  What I hate is how some people use that "I am crazy" as a way for them to excuse their behavior. It makes me want to act out and act as if I am this psycho they like to call me. To show them what a psycho is for real. I have to be honest at times I have reacted in ways I am not happy with. I am ashamed in fact with some of the ways I have behaved. 

  It just sucks that people tend to want to take something that is an illness and use it for their own advantage. They want to use it in order to make themselves not have to be accountable for their actions. 

  I am also angry with myself that I allow them to do this. Over and over they continue to make you feel CRAZY for having feelings. I may have some mental illnesses but that does not mean my feelings are not legitimate feelings. 

  I do not like the woman I have become around certain people. I am not me anymore....not just because of certain people but because of life....choices I have made and mostly because of the mental illnesses I can not change. 

  I am "Crazy".....but only I can say that!!!!!

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