Wednesday, October 28, 2015
HELP!!!!!! Mom Of Adults
I have now had children of all ages up to when they become and adult and parents of their own even and I can tell you that adult children in many ways are the hardest.
My oldest is my daughter and she is 22. She actually has been the easiest child I ever had. She still is. She was always very mature for her age and through the loss of her dad at 4 she actually was a huge help from a young age with her siblings. As a teen she was never very wild or had to many moments of acting rebellious. Now she is an adult who is coming out of her shell and trying to overcome issues she has and enjoying being a young adult experience her time before she marries and has a family.
My other adult children are the ones I struggle with. I realize though that every child is different. Not one of my kids is the same. They are very unique in their personalities and I love that. I also realize they are newly adults so have that ''I am now an adult complex." '
They are both men now and they are also brothers that have a very brother like relationship. My oldest son is 19 and a new dad. He recently moved back in when him and his girlfriend went through one of their break-ups. So now his daughter spends lots of time here and I love that. It also means I have learned to step back and let him be the parent because I am grandma and I need to let him learn. He also pays us rent something he wanted to make sure he did because as he said "I am a grown man and I need to take care of things." I am proud of him for both parts but at times it means he gets a bit cocky about being "A Man" and feels that means he is the boss of this house.
I feel he can have some say about certain things because yes he contributes and also if it comes to making sure his daughter is safe and taken care of the right way. I also feel he needs to remember that this is others homes too. It is still his siblings home even if they do not pay rent. They are all still kids and I never made him pay rent as a kid. The only one who is an adult by being 18 is still in high-school and till he graduates this year I don't want to force to pay rent. He needs to concentrate on graduating. My oldest sometimes like to bring up he pays rent to my 18yr and throw it in his face and all that does is start fights.
Fights are what I am really getting at in this blog actually (just went the long way about it, sorry) My two oldest get in fights and then come running to me to fix it. Drives me nuts. They tell me all the time now how they are adults and I can not tell them what to do etc. , then a fight happens and it is "MOOOOOOM" and I am suppose to do something about it. What I have no clue. I can't ground them or stick them in a corner yet I am suppose to solve some fight. If I tell them this then it is how they can not live with each other.
It was so much easier when they were not "ADULTS" I had some kind of power. Now it is like I have no say. Some days I am at my wits end. Thank you for letting me rant. I know other parents must have some of these issues. If anyone has any words of wisdom let me know. I am at the point where I am thinking I just need to get through the day and have a glass of wine or a cider at night!!!