Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Wish I was anyone but me
Emotions are at a high right now. I am pissed, heartbroken, frustrated and scared. All I can do is freak out in my head and cry non stop. I am in a situation that is new and it is hard to handle.
To have someone you love more then life itself be hurt and not be able to do anything about it because there is another person you love just as much in the middle is so infuriating. Not to mention it is not my problem to solve when it really comes down to it.
All I keep doing is freak out in my head. One minute wanting to attack and be hurtful towards another and the next wishing I was a kid again and could just run to my mommy and daddy and they would make it all better.
I feel like I am losing it and trying to not. I came to write hoping this helps. I have tried to get my mind off it and nothing is working.
I just want people to treat others kind. Why can't anyone do that. Why is it always drama and games and ways to up another. Life should not be about that.
I know that in a blink of an eye you could lose someone and never ever get to see them again and yet people choose to take the time they do have and share with someone to be negative and hurtful.
I know that life is not easy. I am not asking for that I am just wanting those that are in my life treat others with love.
I am in a serious spin of panic and sadness right now. I am doing everythinig in my power to not lose it completely. I am on the verge of a breakdown. Even with feeling all this I do know that others are also hurting and maybe I should not think about my feelings but I am struggling.
This is just one more of those times I wish I did not have my mind....I wish I had a harder heart and I really hate being me.